Therapy and Energy Work

LifeDots Living


2008-2016 LifeDots Living




  • If you always do what you’ve always done you’ll always get what you’ve always gotten.  If you don’t get what you want change until you’re happy with the results.

  • People are always making the best choice available to them at the time. We make choices based on experience, resources and information available. As these constantly change so do our choices. Even intensely negative acts (perceived by general society) will be made with a positive intention by the perpetrator using the available resources they have at that time to cope.
  • Underlying every behaviour is a positive intention. Even negative, unwanted behaviour has developed for a reason; avoiding situations to feel safe, shouting to be heard may be childhood patterns that had a positive intention and value at the time.
  • The meaning of communication is the response (feedback) you get. Everyone has filters on the world: what we say goes through their filters so they may hear something different from what we meant. Noting how our communication was received helps us to adjust it.
  • You cannot, not communicate. We are always communicating, internally and externally.
  • Mind and body are parts of the same system.


  • People already have all the resources they need. You are your own expert, your own therapist. Mental images, emotions and personal experiences can all be utilised to bring about change.

  • The map is not the territory. Our internal mental maps are just that, they’re not the world as others see, hear or feel them.


  • Experience has a structure. Our thoughts and memories have a pattern to them. Changing that will change our experience.


  • If another person can learn to do something so can we.

NLP Presuppositions

Anthony Robbins, one of the world's top motivational speakers and facilitators based his work on NLP and Tony Buzan added Mind Mapping to the mix - I use all of this in the work I do - if appropriate.

Most people have heard of 'the map is not the territory' and 'doing the same thing again and again expecting a different outcome is the definition of madness' both of these originate in NLP - though the second one isn't quite how NLP puts it!


NLP believes (and modern research bears this out) that we will continue to repeat patterns and will continue to get the same results until we intervene to break the cycle and lay down more beneficial results.  All of these basic premises are included in the NLP Presuppositions.

NLP was founded on the work of several people, people of excellence in their therapeutic field, one of whom was Milton Erickson, probably the world's best-know clinical hypnotherapist. I studied and used his work in my psychotherapy training and he is one of my heroes. 


He really listened to people, he understood what they were saying to him and found ingenious ways of meeting their needs and helping them resolve their issues.  That's what first got me interested - around 2000.  I qualified in 2003.


It puts listening to the client - truly listening to and observing the client - at all levels of communication both verbal and non verbal front-and-centre in the way it works, which is where I think quality therapy should start.  It is this close observation of and listening  to body language, spoken language, facial expressions, etc. which yields the insights that allow interventions to be made in the right way at the right time in the right place to create lasting change and to deal with current difficulties. 


Also, many clients feel that 'just talking' isn't going to get the job done but are happy to do exercises or use techniques - putting them in control.  These techniques often empower clients which is a very important part of successful therapy.


I have found it to be very effective - particularly in creating coping strategies and in helping clients identify exactly what they are feeling and why.  Since NLP focuses on the language used (by both therapist and client) - the actual words used, it becomes second nature to embed metaphor and meaning and direction into seemingly straightforward dialogue - to the benefit of the client.

Why do I use it?


This is all about the programmes on which we operate. Some programmes are laid down in childhood, some we lay down ourselves and many are laid down by our friends, family, our experience and our environment.


Once the brain learns a pattern it sticks with it until another pattern supercedes it.  That's why we stick with old behaviours until we learn new ones and make them become a habit.


We use language to order our thoughts and communicate with others.  As neurological research has moved on since the term NLP was coined, we now know that communication is much more subtle and operates at the level of electromagnetic waves, pheromones, body language, etc. We still rely on language though to make sense of our world and to communicate that sense to others.


Neuro refers to the idea that all behaviour is physiological - i.e. in originates in the brain and has its origins in neurological processes such as sight, hearing, taste, smell and touch. Body and mind are one single system and the body reacts to everything we feel. Examples are dry-mouth when we feel anxious or mouth watering when we think of a lemon.

What is Neuro Linguistic Programming? (NLP)

Richard Bandler and John Grinder created NLP in the 1970s and it has been changing and developing ever since.  It is has also been developed into a psychotherapy training as well.  It was created by observing and deconstructing the work of Milton Erickson, Virginia Satir and Fritz Perls.  It also drew heavily on the work of Alfred Korzybski, Gregory Bateson and Noam Chomsky - in particular transformational grammar.